Signs You Might Be A Complete Douchebag!

Mr-DoucheBag
Posted by: Beena Q (January 23, 2012)
in: FEATURED, HEALTHOMG, LATEST ARTICLES, OMG!

The worst thing about douchebags is that they seem to be spreading.  More guys have been going to “salons” for manicures, spray-on tans, or both.  Don’t allow yourself to become a douchebag!  Read our list of possible douchebag symptoms, if you find yourself guilty of anything here: Stop performing that action!  It will move you in the right direction to becoming a functioning member of society.   For the good of society, please prevent this from becoming an unstoppable epidemic.

 

Treating Your Girlfriend Like Crap and blaming it on her. True sign of an uber-douche.

Acting And Dressing Like A Rock Star

You’re Picture Has Shown up on this website.

You Spritz Yourself Liberally with Axe Body Spray before dates. And you’re 30. And you think it’s cool. Gross.  Go buy some Cool Water or something!

You’ve Worn A Basketball Jersey To School

You Talk Incessantly About Your High Paying Job And Phat Ride

You Would Have Voted For Kerry

You Own More Than 10 Pairs Of Flip Flops

You Bag On Gay People and you’ve never met a gay person in your entire life. Corollary is hating on  any other race even though you’ve never had direct relationships with people of any of race, ethnicity, or persuasion other than your own.

Ditching Your Guy Friends to go hang out with a chick that you have no shot with.

It’s Friday Morning. You Already Called To Put Your Name On A Guestlist Somewhere For The Weekend. Perhaps you should just ask them to put down “D. Bag and guest”, the guest being your unjustifiably large ego

You’ve Ever Worn Just A Wife Beater Anywhere

You Have  A Picture Of Yourself Posing In The Bathroom On Your Facebook

Hanging Your German Car Keychain Out Of Your Pocket, And Your Car Is A 1996

You Reminisce About How Awesome Your High School Gym Class Touch Football Team Was

You Claim To Be Italian Although You’ve Never Been To Italy And Your Last Native Italian Relative Came To America In 1900

 You’re Violently Protective Of Your Community College

The Amount Of Hair Gel On Your Head Could Properly Lubricate An M-1 Abrams Tank

You’ve Ever Complimented Another Guy On How Ripped His “Pecs Look”

You Own “Growing Up Gotti” On DVD

Your Wallet Is Attached To Your Pants Via Wallet Chain You Bought At Hot Topic

You Spend More Time At The Gym Than You Do Working At A Job

The Majority Of Your Sentences Begin And End With The Words “Dude” “Bro” And/Or “Yo.”

You’re Not Wearing A Shirt In Your Facebook Picture

You Own A Scarface Poster

The Amount Of Books You’ve Read Is Less Than The Amount Of Cell Phones You’ve Owned

Your Cell Phone’s Wallpaper Is A Victoria’s Secret Model

 You Start Fights Over The Best Brand Of Whey Protein

You Go Tanning

You Own An Abercrombie And Fitch Credit Card

You Wear Sunglasses At Night

You’ve Been Able To Emphatically Answer Yes To Anything On This List

Any more douchey moves you want to add to the list? Leave in comments section.

COMMENTS ON THIS POST

  • What she order? *fish filet* This article was cray

    Posted by: Emran (January 23, 2012)

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